Ease your burdens

Don’t make life’s difficulties even more difficult by filling your mind with resentment. Instead, ease your burdens by choosing to be truly thankful for them.

If you feel resentment starting to take hold, stop and consider this. There’s nothing to be gained by bringing yourself down over what has already happened.

Use the occasion to remember all the things for which you can be thankful. Rise to the challenge of seeing the positive aspects that are surely there within any troubling situation.

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Holding on to resentment will drain valuable energy away from you. Gratitude, on the other hand, can fill you with fresh, new positive energy.

Choose to see the value in your situation. Choose to look forward with confidence instead of looking backward with resentment.

Right now, there is much for which to be thankful. Focus on the positive possibilities, and find real joy in steadily bringing them to life.

— Ralph Marston
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The Only Constant

We treat change like it’s a big deal, when it’s really one of the only constants in our lives.

Some change happens quickly while others happen gradually over time, very unnoticed; nonetheless it’s still change. Sometimes we prompt the change, sometimes change happens, and we have to adjust to it, these are things no one is immune to, we are experts at handling change, but we keep forgetting that.

Some of you reading this are in a situation you don’t want to be in, it could be work, your health, a relationship, or life in general. You  want to change, but can’t seem to find the motivation to do so. There isn’t much motivation needed when you want to change bad enough. Some have such an attachment to the familiar that those feelings trump their need to change, and thus, they  settle.

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Settling is death, please don’t settle.

Doing the same things everyday will most likely have the same outcomes  everyday. For outcomes to change, we need to change the things we do.

When we encourage ourselves to change for our own betterment, we’re also improving our ability to adapt to the ever-changing world around us. Seasons change, friendships change, passions change, beliefs change, life changes. Many times, those changes won’t catch us off guard, if we open ourselves to see them coming.

Folks will change when they’re ready; there isn’t much good coming from pushing them too soon. You’ll end up with a headache and bruised friendship. On the same tip, I do urge anyone who is surrounded by people who continually want them to change, to change the people they surround themselves with. The approval you need is your own.

Every moment is an opportunity to shed an old self to showcase the new. We  evolve as people, and those evolutions are worth celebrating. If you’re feeling   the need to move to a new self, but feel bound to the person you once were,   realize you’re not being held, but rather you’re holding on.

Just let go.

UnLearn – 101 Simple Truths for Better Life – Humble Poet
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Less Expectations Less Disappointments

We all have expectations and I would be a delusional-idealist to promote a life without them. Rather, we can, at the very least, use our disappointed moments to recognize the root of our expectations. Sometimes we may find that having such an expectation isn’t wise, or realistic, or even  necessary.

I still have expectations of people, professionally and personally, and both still  tend to let me down. If the behavior is repeated into a pattern, it’s on me to pay attention. I try my best never to play victim because there’s no empowerment in feeling like one. Blame and power go hand in hand, so giving it away may not be the best choice.

When someone let’s us down, we can take the time to figure out if we want to  allow that to happen again. After all, the past is just that, the past. We can only focus on improving the choices of our present to hopefully have a better future.

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I know some of you reading this have been deeply hurt by people. Within that   pain are jewels of wisdom that can put you in a position not to repeat the same foibles. Our heart is very resilient, and it will survive even when someone steps  all over it.

For who have taken a few extra laps around the sun, you know this  too well. Things that feel like the end of our world rarely are. We can all be a bit over dramatic, and we need to realize we’re harming no one else but ourselves.

The responsibilities involved with your heart, rely solely on you. Don’t put yourself in positions for others to damage you, and if you do (which you will), learn from those mistakes, so they don’t hopefully happen again.

Pay attention to actions over words, they’ll always be more revealing.

I have no intention of shielding you from the pain that life brings; it’s essential. We learn best the hard way, unfortunately, but the next time you go through it, at the very least you may remember these words.

UnLearn – 101 Simple Truths for Better Life – Humble Poet
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How We Spend Our Days Becomes our Life

Your priorities are not revealed in your words, they are revealed in your actions, and your actions are revealed by your schedule.

You can say something (or someone) is important to you,  but  if  they  aren’t penciled in, you’re lying to  yourself.

Tomorrow is not a promise, not even kind of. If fear is holding you back from  doing what you want (or need) to be doing in your life just realize that fear isn’t going anywhere, and everyone who has done something amazing has done it despite the fear, not in its absence.

Until science can do otherwise, we’re all ending our story with death. It’s  really  up to you how you use the days leading up to your eventual demise. The thought  of death scares some, and makes others feel liberated. I like to remember, as long as there’s  breath in my lungs I can create any life I wish to create (it won’t be  easy, but nothing worth while is), and once the breath is gone, it doesn’t matter anyways.

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Life is too short to be in any situation you don’t want to be in, and it feels even shorter when you’re with people you don’t want to be around. There aren’t any erasers to undo our past, but there are fresh pages to write a new chapter. I have great friends that mustered up the courage and strength to escape their comfort zones and place themselves in a situation they would much rather be in. It took  time and it was a struggle, but they came out as better people with better lives.  You  can do the same thing. It won’t be easy,  but so what, is there really a point  of building a life if it isn’t the life you  want?

I strongly encourage you to take risks; you’re worth it. The fear isn’t going to go away, so respect that relationship, and work with it, around it, and despite it.

Let your actions do the talking from now on, and if something is important to you let it show in your day-to-day  movements.

UnLearn – 101 Simple Truths for Better Life – Humble Poet
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When in Conflict, Seek a Shift in Perspective

Seeking a shift in perspective is a rule that most of us can apply dozens of times a day. Conflicts simply happen. Fortunately, most conflicts are minor and quite often they exist entirely within one’s mind. They can happen at the grocery store when someone gets ahead of us in line, or in traffic when someone cuts in front of us. They can happen during the many conversations we engage in throughout the day, too.

A conflict doesn’t have to be a big deal for us to let it take over our emotions; it doesn’t even have to be verbalized. Too frequently, we let minor disagreements turn into major setbacks in a relationship simply because we choose to exaggerate the conflict’s meaning to the rest of our life.

There is a simple solution for freedom from all conflicts: Take Charge. Take charge of what is in your mind. Take charge of what you dwell on. When you are not experiencing happiness, take note of what’s in your mind, discard it, and shift your perspective. What we envision, we experience. Always.

The insidious aspect of any conflict is that it is not inviolate. It binds itself to every experience it possibly can. Entire days can be affected because our minds become contaminated by what we chose to harbor there.

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We don’t need to let conflicts assume control over our emotions. With practice, we can learn to resist giving any conflict power over our minds, even when the conflict is major. Only then can we be certain the conflict won’t take charge of our actions too. If the conflict exists solely in our minds, only one person is affected—us. But we generally voice our conflicts and unleash a tidal wave of emotions in the process.

I don’t intend to claim that I am always at peace, but I actually have very few conflicts with others now. I some- times have to reframe how I see a situation or take a deep breath and disengage from a nonproductive conversation, but I can do these things quite easily and I feel so much better for making the choice.

I can also choose to say, “Perhaps you are right,” even when I don’t really think so. I don’t consider this dishonesty: I am just acknowledging the other person’s right to have an opinion. Nothing is gained by most conflicts and so much can be lost over a meaningless argument.

The smallest actions can result in the biggest miracles. There is not much that is smaller than a smile, a nod, and  an unspoken thought when the thought held in the mind  was hateful and unnecessary. The next step is to let the thought slip away. Lives are changed every day by making this decision and taking this action. Consider it. What is won is extraordinary.

Fearless Relationships: Simple Rules for Lifelong Contentment – Karen Casey

 

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Stick to Your Plan

Nothing great is ever accomplished without plans and perseverance. If there is something you have a strong desire to accomplish, you owe it to yourself to stay focused.

There will never be any time that is “free.” You have to claim specific hours to have all to yourself. Make a date with this most important per-son in your life—you—and show up. Set strong boundaries. Remove yourself entirely from your usual environment if necessary. Make it clear that you need to be alone in order to concentrate.

Stick to your plan in every aspect of your life. How important is it to you to have your creative energies manifest into something tangible that you are proud of? If you make a commitment to lose weight, be strict at a restaurant and don’t let the waiter tempt you with free desserts. To fulfill your goal to stay healthy and fit, decide the night before what time you’re going to the gym. Go.

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When people call you with work-related problems, don’t be always available to them, otherwise your plans grind to a halt. You can’t live from project crisis to project crisis and accomplish your goals. You are legitimately occupied, just like a surgeon in the operating room. You must take your work seriously, organizing your day for focused time. You need to allot time to begin new projects in addition to completing the ones you’re working on.

Have the confidence to stick with your plan. Know what makes you the most comfortable. Be resolute. Do it. Remind yourself that if you lose your discipline and focus by giving in to outer demands, you will feel frustrated. Be decisive. Make up your mind. Stick to your guns unless there is a good reason for you to change your schedule. Write down the truly important reasons that would make you deviate from your prearranged schedule. Existentialism works well in the trenches of life; its maxim is “No excuses.” Try to be strong about your choice to accomplish your goals. Pride yourself on being inner-directed and proactive, not reactive.

Pay attention to your inner distractions: what diverts your mind from completely focusing your attention? We have so many ways of distracting ourselves, making excuses, doing other things first. So many of us start things we don’t finish. If you wander away from your plan, you might destroy the whole project. Don’t lose the flow of your momentum.

As you plan daily goals, you should also arrange several times in your day to meditate, to study, to think through your life’s direction, as you’re developing and sticking to your philosophy of living.

The good news is you can never be in two places at a time. You choose.

A Small Book About the Big Issues in Life – Alexandra Stoddard
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High Expectations and Low Patience

Everyone wants it now, if not yesterday. Entitlement is a key word here. Modern advances have brought us things so rapidly that our patience is short.

When kids get a certificate for just showing up, good luck telling them to work hard to enjoy the fruits of their labor. In a culture that keeps promoting quick and easy, greatness can be at  risk.

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You want to lose weight, here’s the secret: it’s going to take hard work and time  to see results, you want double the results, it’s going to take twice the hard work and time to see results, don’t mistake the simplicity of it for easiness. It’s easy to understand, not easy to do.

Things take time, and if you don’t have the patience to let things slow cook and form then expect a life continually unfulfilled. It took time to learn how to walk, heal from that first heartbreak, finish school, or accomplish anything else worth accomplishing.

Get started and chip away,  luck  is  nothing  more  than  preparation  and opportunity. We all have the ability of greatness in  us,  and  can  train  those muscles so we can see what our real potential is.

Decide what you want, focus on it, and take the baby steps necessary to get    there. Encourage those around you to do the same, and support them any way   that you want.

The people that don’t want you to succeed are simply projecting their fears and inadequacies on you. If you find yourself being discouraging to others, ask yourself, “What am I afraid of if they succeed.”

There wasn’t always a light bulb, Internet, car, or microwave. These things were dreamed up and created. There are no rules or boundaries besides the ones you    set up yourself. What works for one person may not be what works for another.

I hope someone reads this today and decides to change the course of their life by even one degree; that distance will add up in the long run.

UnLearn – 101 Simple Truths for Better Life – Humble Poet
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