Useless envy

Getting envious doesn’t get you much. When you feel envy, make the choice to take the energy of that feeling and to point it in a more positive direction.

A much more empowering alternative to envy is gratitude. Envy creates a feeling of lack and limitation, while gratitude fosters a mindset of abundance.

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When it comes to the things that matter, there’s never any reason to be envious of anyone else. You can always choose to live your life in a way that’s the most positive and fulfilling for you.

When there’s something about someone else’s life that appeals to you, look for ways to transform that feeling into positive action. Rather than being envious, be inspired.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, think of all the positive, value-creating things you can do. No matter where you are or what you have, there’s a world of opportunity available to you.

Make the commitment to act on that opportunity, and to bring new, unique goodness to your world. Get beyond the useless envy, and enjoy filling your life with true richness.

— Ralph Marston

 

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The Rules Apply

Success and happiness in life come when we begin to understand that the universal rules apply to us.

Remember when you were a teenager? You were never going to get old. The concept of being thirty was so foreign to you that it did not have meaning. Then, before you know it, you are thirty, but you are certain that you’ll never be as old as forty. I can remember being a small child and unaware that the law of gravity did, indeed, apply to me. A few bumps and bruises later, the reality became clear. Recently, the correction in the stock market taught a lot of naive investors that the rules apply to them. For several years, the market was so strong that many new investors had never seen a down market. If you had asked them, they would have assured you that, in theory, the market can go down. But by the way they borrowed and invested on margin, their actions indicated they weren’t  convinced the rules applied to them.

Many people have difficulty seeing rules with long-term consequences in a daily perspective. They are aware that wearing a seatbelt is important to their safety, but they say things like, “I’m just going to the store or down the block.” Although they know in a lifetime perspective, it is critical, it never occurs to them that the rules apply to them today. It’s never this cigarette, or this drink, or that bad habit today that is going to create the problem.

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When we fail in life, it’s  rarely because we don’t know what to do. More often, we fail because we don’t do what we know. Success becomes a habit, and failure can be habit-forming as well. We have all heard people who have just experienced failure say, “I knew that was going to happen,” or “That always happens to me.” At the same time, those who succeed follow  the  rules  of  success, and their victories follow one another like   clockwork.

Customer service means treating everyone by the Golden Rule—treating them  in your place of business as you would like to be treated in theirs. We  neverknow which prospect will turn  into  the  multimillion-dollar  relationship. Therefore, you have to treat everyone with a high degree of integrity and professionalism. If we knew when we were going to have the wreck, we would    all wear the seatbelt only on that day. Because we don’t, we apply universal rules  of success to all situations. In this way, we can make every day  a  safe,  productive, and successful experience.

Today’s the Day – Jim Stovall
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Make Decisions Quickly

I have often found that making a decision, any decision at all, is better than sitting on the fence. When you are faced with a decision, gather all the information you can about the situation, weigh it carefully, sit quietly, get centered, and pray for guidance. Then act. Make  a decision.

Don’t be one of those people who are always thinking about what to do. We’ve all known them. These are the ones who spend endless hours going back and forth with every decision they encounter. They suffer the “paralysis of analysis.” These are the people who, when presented with a business or investment opportunity, mull it over for so long that by the time they do decide, if ever, it’s too late and the opportunity has passed them  by.

At a young age, Microsoft founder and billionaire Bill Gates was faced with a decision that would shape his life and change the world in the process. While he was a student at Harvard, Gates saw the developing opportunity in personal computers. However, he was just a student. He also knew that time was a critical factor. If he waited too long, the window of opportunity would slam shut, and he would have missed his chance. Being the leader he is, he made a quick decision. He decided it was “now or never” and left Harvard, much to the dismay of his family, I’d imagine. The rest is  history.

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Not all decisions are of this magnitude. However, if you study successful people, you will discover that they all share this characteristic. They make decisions quickly and rarely change their position once they have decided.

You will make mistakes. You will occasionally make the wrong choice. This is normal. Making mistakes is one way we learn and grow. I’ve learned as much from bad decisions as I have from good ones. The more you use your decision-making abilities, the more you will learn to trust your inner voice, and the more you will fine-tune your decision-making skills.

I’m not suggesting you make snap judgments. By all means, gather all the information you need to make an intelligent decision. Pray for guidance. Listen to your inner voice. Then, when you’ve done your homework, make up your mind and take  action.

Don’t agonize over every move you make, sitting on the fence while the world passes you by. Decide, and act on your decision. Learn to listen to your inner guidance and trust your own judgment.

Handbook to a Happier Life—A Simple Guide to Creating the Life You’ve Always Wanted -Jim Donovan

 

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Thinking Big Starts in your Mind

Thinking small when you could think big limits you in all aspects of your life. People are capable of great things, but not if they don’t envision themselves achieving greatness. Start with your own mind-set.

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Remember the saying, “It’s lonely at the top?” I don’t agree with it. Someone who didn’t want any competition probably coined it. I’m secure enough in my success to welcome competition, and being at the top is a great feeling. It is something you should definitely try. Thinking big can get you to the top.

It’s Okay to Start Small

Start with small steps and work your way up by taking bigger and bigger steps. People like challenges. It’s our nature. If you stay in sync with that premise, you’ll build momentum and move forward in a natural, comfortable progression.

Think about the goals you want and the steps you need to achieve them:

  • Do you have big or small plans?
  • What is limiting or holding you back?
  • How can you expand your vision of the future?

To move forward in a big way, concentrate on managing your future rather then dwelling in the past. Learn from the past, but don’t stay there; it wastes time. Don’t focus on old problems when you can look for solutions that will help you reach your current and future goals.

Einstein said imagination is more important than knowledge.Easy for a genius like Einstein to say, but he had a great point. Without imagination and the ability to think big, knowledge alone won’t make you successful. Knowledge is a building block. Put imagination and knowledge together and in no time you’ll have something big in your think-big tank.

Trump 101 – The Way to Success
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Don’t Try to Change the Other Person

In relationships we often wish that the other person would change, some times in major ways, often in tiny ways. This wish is wasted; we simply cannot change other people, no matter how hard we try. They may try to change to please us, but if they have not decided themselves to actually make whatever change we are demanding, it will not be permanent.

Giving up our nearly constant attempts to change others will feel extremely freeing once we get accustomed to it. It’s quite a burden to be in charge of others. It feels like our work is never done when we are intent on controlling the actions and words of others. It’s exhausting work, too, since our efforts are consistently futile.

Changing our perception of other people isn’t easy when we first try it. We fear that when others are allowed to think and behave the way they want to, we won’t be able to hold them as hostages any longer. Certainly none of us wants to admit to taking hostages, but if we are in the habit of trying to control other people, we are in the practice of hostage- taking. We imprison both the other people and ourselves by our behavior.

Another difficulty lies in the fact that we continue  to look at everyone we want to change with the same eyes that judged them so many times before. We have to be willing to look anew at the people sharing our journey. The best way I have discovered for looking anew is to seek to see the spirit present in my fellow travelers. This means making the decision to see within the other person, to see who he or she really is instead of our projection. We must allow our own heart to see the other person’s heart.

Every relationship we are in right now could be significantly changed for the better if we were to take this tiny step. There is nothing wrong with taking this step selfishly. Most of us will primarily do this for ourselves the first time, but there is another major payoff for doing it. Our willingness to see our companions without judgment will foster willingness in them to see other people differently  too. What a person does on behalf of one relationship is being done on behalf of all relationships simultaneously, both the good and the bad.

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We all recognize when we are being judged, and none of us likes it. The assignment here is very straightforward— judge not. It’s our judgments that encourage us to foist control on others. Our judgments prevent us from seeing who  is really there to be seen. Our judgments keep us stuck in our own past and prevent us from moving peacefully to our own future.

We cannot change any other person; we can change only ourselves. As we grow to accept this fact, we will find our lives unfolding far more joyfully. We will also feel more successful knowing that we can change ourselves!

Fearless Relationships: Simple Rules for Lifelong Contentment – Karen Casey

 

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Get Control of Your Emotions

People are often confused about the role of emotions in life. For example, they sometimes place people in one of two categories: thinkers or feelers. As a result, they might make the following kind of statement: “The problem in our relationship is that you are a thinker and I feel things. I am an emotional person. You aren’t.” But differentiating between thinkers and feelers is a conceptual mistake. As humans, all of us think, and all of us experience emotions throughout the day, every day.

Thoughts and feelings are two sides of the same coin. If you think, for example, that someone has been unjust to you, you will feel some negative emotion (such as anger or resentment) toward that person. The feeling happens in the mind as a result of how you think in the situation. Moreover, feelings can usefully influence and drive thought. For example, if you are angry about something you think is unjust, your anger can drive you to think about what you can do to eliminate the injustice.

Feelings and emotions, then, are an important part of your life. They can be positive or negative. They signal whether you are perceiving things in a positive or negative light. They can be justified or unjustified. How you relate to your emotions can make a big difference in the quality of your life. You can feed or starve your emotions. You can use your emotions effectively or ineffectively. As you learn to examine your emotions, investigate the thinking that accounts for them. You can attack thinking that leads to self-inflicted unproductive emotional pain. You can take command of your emotions by taking command of the thinking that causes those emotions.

123Strategies for taking command of your emotional life:

  1. Begin to notice the emotions you regularly experience. Every time you experience a negative emotion, ask yourself: What thinking is leading to this emotion? See if you can identify some irrational thinking underlying the emotion. If so, attack that thinking with better, more sensible thinking. Once you act on the new thinking, your emotion should begin to shift  accordingly.
  2. If you experience negative emotions frequently in your life, look closely at what is causing these Is it you? Is your irrational thinking leading to unproductive behavior? Are you in a dysfunctional relationship that you need to get out of? Is it your job? Until you directly face the problems in your life that are causing negative emotions, and until you do something to change the situation, the negative emotions will keep coming back. Get to the root of the emotions. Attack your mind with thinking that leads to productive behavior and positive emotions.
  3. To focus more concretely on your emotions, write about Keep a daily journal that targets the negative emotions you experience. Use this format:
    1. One negative emotion I feel ..
    2. The reason I feel this negative emotion ..
    3. The thinking (or situation) I need to change in order not to feel this negative emotion ..
    4. A more productive way to think is, If I change the way I think, my feelings should change in the following ..

The focus in this strategy is on negative emotions. By analyzing what is giving rise to negative emotions, you can often identify problems in your thinking and behavior. If you don’t experience many negative emotions, there can be a number of reasons why. For example, it may be that you are living a predominantly rational life, and therefore you experience the positive emotions that come with reasonable, unselfish living. Or it may be that you can get what you want without regard for the rights and needs of others. For example, the successful dominator primarily feels positive emotions.  It is up to you to determine the truth about your emotional life.

25 Days to Better Thinking & Better Living – Richard Paul and Linda Elder
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Don’t let your entire life hinge on one element

“Your life is made up of many different facets. Don’t focus on one aspect of your life so much that you can’t experience pleasure if that one area is unsettled. It can become all you think about, and it can deaden your enjoyment of everything else—things you would otherwise love.”

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Would you invest every dollar you had in the stock of one company?
Of course not. Every expert you could possibly consult would tell you to invest by diversifying. You shouldn’t place all your hopes on one company or even one kind of company. Instead, you should intelligently pursue a variety  of investments, with no one central investment capable of ruining your savings.
The same applies to living your life: you should diversify your hopes. Don’t pin all your hopes on getting a promotion and wind up ruining what could have been a satisfying home life by lack of progress in the office.
Don’t define your life based on having a perfect relationship with one family member and wind up feeling devastated by a strained relationship.
Build your hopes around the many things that are important to you, and allow yourself to benefit from the different  things that contribute to your life, rather than allowing yourself to be devastated by a single bump in the road.
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In an experiment in which subjects were asked to discuss the life satisfaction of others, subjects tended to calculate likelihood of happiness on an “averaging” scale. That is, happiness was associated with people whose lives were generally positive in multiple areas that mattered to them. – Bhargava 1995
THE 100 SIMPLE SECRETS  OF Happy People – David Niven, Ph.D.
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