The flip side of forgiveness is humility. Some people believe when two people love each other, you don’t have to say you’re sorry. I disagree.
It is bad for our soul not to be kind and thoughtful. Whenever we are forgetful, impatient, or insensitive, saying something sharply critical, when we sincerely say, “I’m sorry,” we clear the air. We empty our mind of negative thoughts.
Saying you’re sorry when you mean it is soothing because it releases the other person from being upset. When we express our regret about something we wish could have been different, we’re expressing our compassion and empathy. People who have difficulty saying they’re sorry suffer from feelings of inferiority.
Until you genuinely say you’re sorry, you’re withdrawing your love while inflicting pain. When you’re not sorry, you are not understanding the consequences of your behavior. There will always be reactions to everything we do or don’t do. We pay a price whenever we’ve hurt someone’s feelings by not being generous-spirited and sensitive to their wishes and needs.
It is better to say you’re sorry even for a vague misunderstanding where you don’t quite know how it happened. If you and your partner agreed to meet at a building entrance and you end up at the second of two entrances while your partner is waiting at the first, you may think you’re right and your partner is wrong because you were at the main entrance on the avenue while your partner was at the street entrance, and you might feel ticked off because you were waiting more than twenty minutes in the cold.
But your lover was concerned about you, looking all around and waiting in the cold, too, and when you finally unite you should be glad you are both safe and together again. Be humble. Be sorry you were not where your partner thought you would be. Don’t try to prove you are right and your lover was wrong. There are bound to be times of confu- sion and crossed wires. Someone hears or assumes one thing, the other something else. Right or wrong, we should show our love, not our sense of indignation. Remember what’s important. No one who loves us deliberately plays games.
We all make mistakes. When we sincerely apologize, we should be forgiven. Focus on all the times you are in complete harmony. When- ever there is any slight disconnection, be eager to say you’re sorry, be forgiving of yourself and your partner, and be grateful as you move forward.
Happiness for Two – Alexandra Stoddard