No One Else Really Knows or Understands

Your happiness is up to you. No one can know you completely, nor should they. Knowing and understanding yourself is key to trusting yourself. It’s your right, responsibility and privilege to make your own decisions. You own what you say yes to, and what you say no to.

Trust your inner voice; your intuition is always with you. The only times I seem to make mistakes are when I’m not confident enough in myself to listen and hear my own truth.

Make the right choices for you, weighing all the circumstances. Try not to put pressure on those closest to you to understand your feelings. Most people seek friends and lovers who “understand” them. This puts a huge burden on loved ones. It isn’t fair to them. Your emotional life is complex and ever-changing. It is better to let others love you as you are, but don’t have unrealistic expectations of their ability to comprehend you. No one else is you. No one else knows how it feels to be you. Don’t expect it of others. If you do, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. In your times of despair, no one completely understands.

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They can’t. Don’t ask more of someone than they’re capable of giving. Unrealistic expectations of others to know how you feel can cause you to feel alone, isolated, and disconnected from others.

Continue to deepen your understanding of yourself. You know your path. Have conviction that you know what is right from what is wrong for you at the time. Even in victory, in the best of times, those closest to you will not fully know what it took for you to surmount the obstacles. Know that you know, that you understand, and feel blessed.

Listen to your own good advice. Pat yourself on the back. Living is a courageous act. This is not the work or job of others’, but of yours alone, and it goes both ways: You can’t know or understand loved ones fully, either. Listen to their stories when they open up to you. Value your intimacy with them. You are being entrusted with their deepest self.

Seek information from others, but limit seeking advice. Use your inner compass. Everyone is on his or her own path, at a different pace and at a different place on his or her journey. Our lover’s life is separate from ours; we are like two vertical pillars side by side. If one of us leans too heavily on the other, we both may fall down. Once we’re adults, we’re on our own. Whatever you need to do, do it. You are the architect and owner of every choice you make. With the privilege of autonomy, there is responsibility.

Saint Francis of Assisi taught us, not to try to be understood, but to understand. Be understanding of others as you evolve into higher states of consciousness, aware of more and more depth of awareness within you. You are on your own, but you are never alone, because you are an intricate part of everything else in the universe. There is no way you can separate yourself from all that is. The universe is not out there somewhere; its guidance is inside you all the time.

You have everything you will ever need for your potential to be fulfilled, for your self-knowledge and personal transformation. Your inner resources increase every day. You have the seeds that can take strong root in life. Cultivate yourself. It’s not the job of someone else to know or understand you. Accept this truth and be at peace with it.

A Small Book About the Big Issues in Life – Alexandra Stoddard

 

 

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