Knowing that your partner is there for you – loyal and trustworthy and 100 per cent for you – is one of the greatest gifts in a relationship and indeed in the whole world. It’s something you give to each other on a constant, unimpeachable basis, and it creates and keeps current a strong, unquestioning bond of confidence in each other.
Like all the Secrets it’s based on a decision followed by attention. Even when your love is sure and mutually valued, it’s very possible to forget to back each other up, or to think it funny or clever to disrespect each other. However amusing though, it undermines your respect for them in time and can cause hurt, since pretty soon you won’t be doing it when you’re alone with your friends, but when you’re both in company. Disloyalty will unsettle your friends anyway for they of course will realize that if you aren’t true to your partner, you certainly won’t be true to them.
Loyalty doesn’t come in half-measures. You are either loyal or you’re not and if you’re not, your partner will feel betrayed and their love for you will be dented. In time these dents intrude into the fabric of the love you share.
True, trustworthy loyalty on the other hand creates a warm glow between you. It provides a solid foundation for your love and your whole relationship.
It also feels good to be loyal. You’ll respect yourself more as well as your partner. And when you’re loyal your partner will of course know it and it will take only a little thought and determination to return the compliment and be loyal to you too.
It’s also one of the greatest factors for happiness in family life. Children love their parents to be united. They may try to play you off against each other, but if you don’t back each other up they will deep down be disappointed. They want you to be in agreement with each other – however much they try to push the boundaries you set for them, they will actually love the fact that they know you are a mutual support system because then they will feel safe and have confidence in you and your decisions.
It’s a hugely important Secret of happiness in your relationship and a deep love between you that lasts, strong and sure, no matter what’s going on in your lives.